Faith

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Three years ago I had a massive "faith period" in my life. To some, getting pregnant is filled with excitement and amazement. For others however, hearing the word "pregnant" is scary. You like your life the way it is. You love your job, your family is wonderful and perfect just the way it is, you love EVERYTHING about your life, so the thought of adding another child is almost like the feeling of going backwards in life. You have to go back to the diapers, you have to go back to sleepless nights, and you may have to go back to breastfeeding for a year or longer. That's where I was in life three years ago. I thought having a second child would interfere with everything of my life. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to turn. As much as I was so excited for this new little baby, I was scared as all heck! I never really pictured myself as a mother, let alone a mother of two! Keep reading, this story does get better. I remember talking to my mom and her saying "this is a blessing, why would you be scared?" Which only made me feel worse. I decided to look for a therapist at a pregnancy center, I hoped she would understand where I was coming from, but you know what she told me? She told me "that almost every patient she sees came in for the same concern that I had. They were scared of having, or adding, a child, they were scared of how the baby would change their life, they were scared of rearranging their life for this baby of whom they knew nothing about." She told me "everything was going to be okay, and that it was very possible that I might not feel comfortable with having this new child until the day he's born." I was kind of hoping she was going to tell me that things would change next week, but she didn't. I remember asking the therapist if I would possibly have postpartum depression, which she advised that in most cases, people that come to see her before the delivery of their newborn, do not have issues after. I have to admit that both times, she was right. Because while I was scared and anxious up until the moment he came into my life, the second he was born, life took a complete 180. And I totally fell in love with him! After he was born I put down everything; I accepted the changes, I loved the breastfeeding, I loved all the changes that this little guy brought into my life. Now, at 2 years old, he is still making amazing and unbelievable changes in my life! I realize that those emotions of being scared, of having no clue how it makes sense, and how it could ever make sense, meant nothing as God and the universe held me tight. I learned that sometimes the things we are most scared of will set us free and make us become whole. Remember how I said that this was a good story? Well, I love that kid like crazy and though he has definitely changed my life, I am loving and accepting every change along the way. I've had to go back to the diapers, I did a year of breastfeeding, I rearranged my whole business for my little guy, and he has changed my life in fun, amazing and truly beautiful ways! Maybe that was what I was feeling that day when I was scared, maybe I knew he was going to change my whole life, and maybe it was EXACTLY what I needed. All of this to say, if you're going through a "faith period" in your life; whether it's a child, your business, or life, just remember that it ALWAYS works out...ALWAYS! Though it may not look like it at that moment, or that week, or that month, or even that year, I guarantee that it WILL work out and it WILL change your life! Remember, it is totally normal to feel scared , anxious, or uncomfortable about growth, but you must keep doing the steps required to so that you not only grow, but you blossom! Are you having a "faith period"? Repeat after me "everything is okay and it WILL all work out!"

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